Honor Your Parents: The Bridge
Parents are G=d’s way of teaching us respect for higher authority. Two parents teach us that G-d relates to us in two distinct ways. PARSHAS YISRO PARSHAS YISRO
Why is it on Tablet A?
Honor your father and mother, the fifth of the Ten Commandments (or, more precisely, the “Ten Statements”) appears in this week’s parsha, and is a pillar of most civilized societies.
That this commandment is central to Judaism is evident from its inclusion in the Ten Commandments. There is, however, a question that has been raised by Bible commentators regarding its “position” within those Ten Commandments.
There is a well-known tradition that the reason the Ten Commandments were divided into two tablets, five commandments on the one tablet and the other five on the other, PARSHAS YISRO was to reflect the two thrusts of obligations we have. On the first tablet, the obligations between man and G-d were delineated, while the second tablet details our obligations towards our fellow human being.
Armed with this premise, commentators wonder why the commandment to honor one’s father and mother was included in the first tablet. Aren’t parents human? And isn’t our obligation to honor them an obligation that should have been included in the category of “man to man” precepts?
The standard answer given by commentators is that, by extension, honoring our parents is a form of honoring G-d. In the words of the Talmud, “G-d equated the honor due to parents to the honor due to G-d.” To dramatize this notion, the Talmud relates how a certain sage upon hearing his mother’s footsteps, would remark, “The Shechinah (Divine presence) is coming!”
But this answer only begs a follow-up question. Why did the Torah equate the honor of mere mortals to the honor of G-d?
PARSHAS YISRO
The Human Condition
To answer this question, we need to preface an understanding of the human condition.
Human beings are unique creations. While every creature consists of both a body and a soul, there is a fundamental difference between the relationship of a human body to its soul and that of all other creatures.
All living beings were created with bodies that were suffused with souls. The body of an animal, for example, is therefore inseparable from its soul. There is no conflict between the two. What this means is that the soul of an animal is so limited that it “fits” neatly in its body, without any resistance.
The human being’s body however, was created before G-d infused it with a soul. The body does not readily embrace the soul. The body and soul can therefore appear to exist independently. Although the body could not survive without its soul, the body could easily be unaware of its source of life. Likewise, the soul can exist within the body without PARSHAS YISRO making an effort to “strike up a dialogue” with the body, leaving the body unaffected.
Because of this dichotomous relationship, a body may have a hard time attaining the level of respect and honor for G-d. For the body to perform a Mitzvah would be easier, because even a materialistic body recognizes the need to do things that go against the body’s instincts. The body can also be made to understand the need and benefit to submit to a discipline.
When we deal with the concept of honor, it is quite a different story. How does a body, with its limited appreciation for anything that is beyond the physical realm, develop an appreciation for anything spiritual and abstract? How does a body begin to approach honoring G-d?
A Glimpse into the Dynamic of Creation
To bridge this gap, between a physical human body and the awareness of a G-d whom we must honor, G-d gave us parents. Parents, who choose to get married, bear and PARSHAS YISRO raise children, act vicariously as G-d’s agents and partners in the creation and the shaping and molding of new life.
By honoring parents we thus develop an appreciation for those who are responsible for our existence. In doing so, we are compelled to look deeper into our existence and come ultimately to the realization that we did not just happen. There must be a Creator Who created us and our parents, and Who is responsible for everything in our lives. The very institution of parenthood is G-d’s way of introducing Himself to us.
It now becomes clear as to why honoring parents was included in the first tablet that focuses on our obligation to G-d.
Why Two Parents?
All of this begs a further question. If the institution of parenthood was to introduce us to our Divine Parent, why did G-d create a natural order that requires two parents? Wouldn’t the unity of G-d demand that there be only one proxy of G-d?
PARSHAS YISRO
In truth, while there is only one G-d, there are two ways in which He manifests Himself. G-d can either act towards us as a mother, with warmth, closeness and a spirit of nurturing.
G-d, alternatively, can relate to us as a Father, who does not show His emotions, who maintains some distance from the child. This parallels the biological process where the mother’s contribution to reproduction differs markedly from that of the father. The mother and father metaphor in relation to G-d likewise reflects G-d’s intimate involvement in our lives, and His detachment from our lives, respectively.
The “father” and “mother” modes of G-dly expression, parallel the way G-d related to us in the days when the Temple stood as compared to the way He relates to us in the present state of exile. In the present, G-d conceals His love and appears aloof and detached from His people. Nevertheless, we are duty bound to develop a sense of honor and respect for Him. But, at the same time, we must also express our desire to see the PARSHAS YISRO other side of G-d’s relationship. We must constantly pray to G-d to bring about the coming of Moshiach who will usher in an Age where G-d’s presence will be revealed, and take us into “Her” motherly embrace.
From the book Light from the Future: Parshas Yisro by Rabbi Heschel Greenberg, published by the Jewish Discovery Center.
