Wrestling

There are times in our lives that we stand alone; we feel isolated and lonely. This is not all bad. When we do not have others to look at and interact with, we become introspective. We begin to think more seriously about who we are and what is our purpose in life. These periods of introspection can actually help us reorient our lives and turn a new leaf. Judaism, despite its focus on the community has designated special times for soul-searching such as the reading of the Shema before retiring to bed, and birthdays.

Left Alone

Of all of Jacob’s trials, the one that stands out as being the strangest was when he was left alone and had to wrestle with an angel. This wrestling match lasted all night until the angel struck Jacob’s thigh and injured him. But, in spite of his injury, Jacob ultimately prevailed over the angel, and he was compelled to bless him that his name shall no longer be Jacob (that implied being a heel) but the more dignified name of Israel (which signifies leadership).

Our Sages tell us that “all of the events that transpired with the Patriarchs are “signs” for the children.” This means that the challenges that our Patriarchs had and met provide us with direction and spiritual assistance in meeting similar challenges in our own lives.

When the Torah speaks of the challenge of this life and death wrestling match, it prefaces this narrative with the fact that Jacob was left alone. It follows that Jacob’s vulnerability was due to his being alone.

The immediate lesson we can learn from this is the need for us to find companionship. Indeed, our Sages in Ethics of the Fathers stress the need to “acquire a friend,” in whom we can confide.

Not Always a Bad Idea

Moreover, this story of how Jacob was left alone and wrestled all night with this sinister angel—who ultimately injured him and then blessed him—can be applied to each and every one of us as individuals, as well as to the Jewish people as a whole.

On the national level, the Jewish people—despite their efforts to be part of the national and international community—frequently sense that they are all alone, isolated and alienated from the entire world.

This standing alone is not all bad. Throughout history, we stood alone in the moral and spiritual sense. We did not stoop to the low levels that the majority of other nations degenerated. And while we were downtrodden, we had every right to hold our heads high, with pride for the way we behaved in the face of adversity. We did not lose our faith. We did not lose our morality and ethics. We produced the greatest minds and hearts, even as the world looked down and sneered at us.

But, the world did not just isolate us. It also “ganged up” on us and tried to place the blame of so many of the world’s ills on us. Tragically, this phenomenon is still very much the rule in international circles. Israel is the pariah nation. These are very painful times, especially when many of those who we thought were our friends have abandoned us.

The story with Jacob is told every year for us to realize that this isolation has a happy ending. As painful as this encounter was for Jacob and as severe his injury, he elicits his adversary’s admission that he is not just a Jacob, a heel, but Israel, a leader. We too, are therefore confident that we will ultimately prevail, and even our detractors will be compelled to concede our singular role as Israel, a “light to the nations.”

Introspective

The story of Jacob can also be said to apply to each and every one of us as individuals. There are times in our lives that we stand alone; we feel isolated and lonely.

In a certain limited sense, this is not all bad. At times like these, when we do not have others to look at and interact with, we spend time with ourselves; we become introspective. We begin to think more seriously about who we are and what is our purpose in life. These periods of introspection can actually help us reorient our lives and turn a new leaf.

Indeed, Judaism, despite its focus on the community and the strong need for social interaction, has designated special times for soul-searching. The reading of the Shema before retiring to bed—particularly at the end of the week, or month—is an appropriate time to reflect on one’s past day, week or month. Certainly before the end of the year, one looks for occasions to be alone, to afford oneself the opportunity to focus inward.

Birthdays, in Chassidic tradition, are also times for introspection; absorbed in our thoughts about how the past year has gone, and what can be done to make the next year better.

Overcoming the Pain

However, being alone can also be a very painful and vulnerable time. Without the support system we enjoy from our family and friends, the time we have with ourselves can turn into loneliness and can lead to depression. It can become a wrestling match between us and the “demons” that seek to destroy us.

Jacob’s victory over his wrestling partner enables us—even in times of isolation—to overpower our internal adversary, and to transform our lives from being a mere Jacob into a sublime and dignified Israel. To go from a lonely and forlorn individual to a member of a vibrant community..

And just as on the national level, Jacob’s victory portended the time when Israel shall emerge from exile and the negative aspects of isolation, with the coming of Moshiach, so too, will Moshiach take each and every one of us, as individuals, out of the state and feeling of loneliness into a state of liberation and joy.

From the book Light from the Future: Parshas Vayishlach by Rabbi Heschel Greenberg, published by the Jewish Discovery Center.