Returning with Light and Joy
The ultimate goal of Teshuvah, of return to G-d is “good deeds.” The process of Teshuvah should not engender a desire to escape reality and responsibility but rather it should serve as a force of positive energy that will lead to more and more good deeds; more and more positive engagement with the physical world
Laban’s Lifestyle Didn’t Rub Off
Jacob is now returning from the 22 years he spent with his uncle Laban and on the road. Fearing that his brother Esau was still harboring a grudge against him and wished to do him harm, Jacob sends scouts to determine his intentions. Jacob told the scouts to inform Esau that:
“I have lived with Laban and have been delayed until now.”
Rashi comments that the word garti, which means “I have lived,” is the numerical value of 613. Jacob was thus saying to Esau:
“I have lived with Laban, but I have observed the 613 commandments and I have not learned from his evil deeds.”
We can understand what Jacob’s message was attempting to convey based on the way Isaac made Jacob’s security (and by extension, the security of the Jewish people) lie in his commitment to the values of Torah and its commandments. Jacob was thus informing Esau, don’t think that I have lost touch with my values and I am vulnerable. Indeed, Jacob averred, “I have observed al the 613 commandments, and I have not allowed anything that Laban stood for rub off on me.”
A question has been raised about the words Rashi says Jacob employed: Why did he have to add the words “And I have not learned from his evil deeds,” after having declared that he observed all of the 613 commandments? Isn’t it obvious that if he observed all of the 613 commandments that he had not emulated Laban’s evil ways?
The True Meaning ofTeshuvah
To answer this question we should analyze a similar apparent redundancy in the Talmudic statement that describes the purpose of wisdom:
“The ultimate goal of wisdom is Teshuvah (repentance or return) and good deeds.”
The difficulty with this statement is that Teshuvah usually translates as repentance. Why is it assumed that the person who is endowed with wisdom is a sinner? It should have stated that the goal of wisdom is good deeds, and in the event that someone violated that order and did not do the good deeds they should do Teshuvah? In addition, the question can be asked, if one has returned to G-d by repenting, it is obvious that they will perform good deeds.
The answer, provided by the Alter Rebbe (the founder of the Chabad Chassidic movement, the anniversary of his release from Czrist imprisonment we will be observing this coming Friday) in his work Likkutei Torah lies in a deeper understanding of the word Teshuvah.
Teshuvah is not just the expression of remorse for one’s transgressions and returning from a life of sins and iniquity. Even a perfectly righteous person can and must “do” Teshuvah. When Yom Kippur is over, one can still be required to do Teshuvah, despite that fact that he had already acquired atonement for all his sins and now has a clean slate.
Teshuvah means to return. And return implies that we have been someplace else and have journeyed away from that place and now we must return to it. That journey does not necessarily involve sin and evil.
Where do We Return?
Where is that place to which we must return?
The answer is that every one of us possesses a G-dly soul which originates in a higher sphere of reality—a G-dly reality. Every soul resides in a world of utter truth and holiness. And these pure souls are thrust into physical bodies and inhabit a world that is full of falsehood. It is a world whose consciousness is far removed from the original state of mind the soul experienced in the world of souls.
When the soul realizes how far it has traveled and distanced itself from its heavenly source it relays a message to our conscious mind that we must do something to get the soul back to its original state. In some cases it can be the realization of how low we have fallen. When a person hits rock bottom they are awakened to that reality and wish to come back.
But, even a completely righteous person, nay, especially a righteous person; by studying Torah they realize that their soul has undergone a transformation due to its involvement with the body and physical world. And when these individuals become aware of the distance their souls traveled from their source, they develop a powerfully passionate desire to return.
Escape?
The problem with this inspiration is that it can take two forms: It can lead a person to want to escape this physical world; if not literally, to end one’s physical existence, then it can manifest itself in another undesirable way. Those whose soul is on fire and wish to return to a more spiritual existence will divorce themselves from dealing with physical world. They may decide to engage in self-mortification or simply forget about their families and the need to make a difference in the world that everyone else inhabits.
This type of escape may be cloaked in a pious mantle that they want to get closer to G-d; they want to satisfy their soul’s yearning to be “back home.”
However, that was not G-d’s intention when he sent this inspiring thought to the person that he or she should return to G-d because it is out of sync with the very reason G-d placed the ethereal soul in an ephemeral body—“to make the world a dwelling place for G-d.”
The ultimate goal of Teshuvah, of this return to G-d thus, is “good deeds.” The process of Teshuvah should not engender a desire to escape reality and responsibility but rather it should serve as a force of positive energy that will lead to more and more good deeds; more and more positive engagement with the physical world Glowing Good Moreover, the word “tov” which means good in Hebrew also has the connotation of something that glows with G-dly radiance. This translation we find in the description of Moses’ birth in the beginning of the Book of Exodus. The Torah states that when Moses was born his mother “saw that he was good.” The Talmud, cited by Rashi, explains that it means that the entire house was filled with light.
Thus, our return to G-d must not only inspire us to do more good deeds, the deeds must also radiate with joy and beauty.
Hence, the goal and objective of wisdom, according to the Talmud, is to help us get in touch with our soul’s desire to return to G-d—Teshuvah.
However, the caveat here is that this desire to return has to be geared to greater involvement and engagement with the world we inhabit. And even that is not enough; the goal is to contribute to it by illuminating it by bringing light and joy to the world in which we live by way of performing Mitzvot with joy and enthusiasm.
With this introduction we may understand what Jacob meant to tell Esau:
Jacob’s Radiant and Down-to-Earth Teshuvah
“I have lived with Laban and now I am returning. The Midrash tells us that the Biblical term atah, which means now, implies the act of Teshuvah. Teshuvah is not about the past and the future; it is about a paradigm shift now.
Jacob is thus saying. I have lived with the wicked Laban. That experience has not tarnished my soul. On the contrary, it caused my soul to be ignited. I am therefore now returning (Teshuvah), both literally and figuratively.
Jacob then adds, “I want you to know that I have not learned from his evil ways.” This does not just mean that Jacob did not degenerate to Laban’s level, G-d forbid. It also suggests that his deeds did not become diminished in their radiance.
When the soul is on fire one may think that the practical Mitzvos are only of secondary importance and take a back seat to spiritual experiences. This Teshuvah experience, Jacob was informing Esau, did not cause him to neglect his engagement with this world in any way shape or form.
On the contrary, Jacob was in effect saying, “I have acquired cattle etc. and all the material goods, to underscore that I am not trying to escape this world. I have not absorbed his evil ways, means I have not taken the good, or light out of the 613 Mitzvot that I have observed. I not only live by those Divine commands I love them.”
Messianic Passion should not Diminish Observance
We are at the tail end of the period known as exile. In a sense we are in the process of returning to the period of holiness that prevailed at the time the Temple stood in Jerusalem, when G-d’s presence permeated the Land of Israel. And the more we think about returning, especially when we realize how low we’ve fallen as a society, we are filled with yearning and passion for the future.
The lesson of Jacob is that we are not to let the passion of Teshuvah-return to diminish either the quantity of Mitzvos or the quality. This return to be successful requires total devotion to the ideal of making this world a G-dly abode; a world that is illuminated by Torah and Mitzvos that we observe will utter joy.
From the book Light from the Future: Parshas Vayishlach by Rabbi Heschel Greenberg, published by the Jewish Discovery Center.
