A Joint Offering
Men and women bring different strengths to their marriage. The woman’s need for marriage is to express her selfness devotion to another. This G-dly feminine trait characterizes the Messianic Age dynamic.
It’s a Team Effort
This week’s Torah portion–Vayikra–introduces the subject of sacrifices and offerings with the words:
“A person [Adam] who shall make an offering of you [mikem], an offering to G-d; from the animals, from the cattle and from the sheep you shall offer your offering.”
The usage of the word Adam to describe a person is problematic. In most places the Torah employs the term ish rather than Adam. Many explanations have been offered as to this unusual choice of words. (See preceding essays.)
The Zohar—the principle work of Kabbalah— addresses this issue and make a startling observation: “When a person marries a woman, [the union of] the masculine and the feminine, he is called Adam and is fit to offer. This excludes one who did not marry; his offering is not a [full fledged] offering.”
On the surface, this comment is very difficult to digest. How does a person’s marital status affect the offering he or she brings to the Temple?
Second, why does one have to be married in order to be called Adam? Wasn’t Adam a single person even before he married Eve?
Third, why does the Zohar limit its statement to a man “who marries a woman?” It should have stated simply “if one is married.”
A Man without a Woman and a Woman without a Man
To answer these questions let us analyze another similar statement made by the Talmudic sages: “A man without a woman is not a complete person.”
It is interesting to note that the Talmud does not say that a woman without a man is not a complete person. Although one may surmise that the same is true for a woman, the question still remains, why doesn’t the Talmud simply state that one is not a complete person without a spouse?
It may be suggested that although marriage is what makes each spouse’s life complete, as the Zohar says that marriage is the reunion of two half souls separated at birth, nevertheless, there is a crucial difference between the way a man and a woman benefit from marriage. And this difference is based on the way the Torah describes the creation of Adam and Eve.
Adam was created a complete human being. After that a part of him was removed to form Eve. In effect, Adam was rendered a deficient human being, only to be restored to his complete stature when G-d brought Eve to him and they became one again.
Eve, on the other hand, was created as an independent being without ever having been deficient. From the very moment Eve was formed she was complete. Adam’s existence did not take anything away from Eve, whereas Eve’s existence was at the expense of Adam.
Thus, it may be argued that marriage for Adam is fundamental to his being. With marriage Adam is restored to his state of wholeness. With Eve marriage serves to make Adam whole.
For the man, marriage is first and foremost selfserving; for the woman, marriage is first and foremost a selfless act. This does not mean that men cannot bring selflessness to their marriage and that women do not benefit from marriage. This does mean, though, that for women marriage is fundamentally the surrender of her natural state of existential independence, while for men, marriage is the completion of their existential state.
We can now answer the second question posed above; why a person is not called Adam unless he is married. As explained, Adam represents man as he was before Eve was taken from him. In addition, Adam is also the state of man after he is married and Eve is restored to him.
An Unblemished Offering
We can now also understand the comment of the Zohar that a sacrifice must ideally come from a man who is married. As long as one is single; he is missing a fundamental part of his personality. As such he cannot really get close to G-d, which is the essence of a korban/sacrifice. To get close to G-d one must be whole. Just as the animal that one offers must not be blemished, and the Kohain who ministers in the Temple must not be blemished, so too, the person who offers the sacrifice must be whole in order for his offering to be complete.
Moreover, getting close to G-d means that one is in the process of fulfilling his life’s mission. As long as one does not have his other half restored to him, he is missing some of his ability to realize his potential. This does not mean that he cannot serve G-d; it does mean that he must compensate for the spiritual potential that a single man lacks.
Imitating the Celestial Marriage
Another way of understanding the Zohar’s comment that a man who is not married cannot offer a complete sacrifice is based on the ultimate goal of the sacrifice to create a state of peace and harmony between G-d and His world. Just as food is what brings the soul and body together, so too, the sacrifices, characterized as celestial food, bring G-d—the Soul of the world—and the world together.
This state of peace and harmony between G-d and the world generated by sacrifices is the spiritual source of and parallel to marriage between a man and a woman. When one of these marriages is undermined it adversely affects the other as well. If our relationship with G-d is shaky, it affects the earthly marriage between man and woman. And conversely, when a marriage experiences difficulty, or there is an absence of marriage altogether, it threatens the stability of the celestial marriage.
This is why our Sages state that when a man divorces his wife the altar sheds tears. The altar is the medium through which the “marriage” between G-d and His world is executed. When the marriage down here is dissolved it affects the celestial marriage as well.
We can now understand why the Zohar says that the sacrifice of one who is not married is not a complete sacrifice. The objective of the sacrifice is to bring about the marriage between G-d and Israel. If the one who offers the sacrifice does not enjoy the state of unity and marriage in his own life, how can he effect the much greater and more encompassing union?
The Ultimate Marriage
The coming of Moshiach is regarded by our Sages as the completion of the marriage between G-d and His people. The relationship between G-d and ourselves began at Sinai, but will culminate with the coming of Moshiach.
Our way of preparing for this time requires that we engage in actions that are reflections of the future Messianic Age. If the Messianic Age is the time for the ultimate marital unity and bliss, it follows that we prepare for that wedding by pursuing marriage and marital harmony.
The greater the Shalom Bayis, domestic peace, the more we prepare ourselves and generate the requisite energy for the ultimate experience of Shalom Bayit of G-d and Israel.
More specifically—in light of the above—the way we prepare for the future Messianic age is to combine the two qualities that are represented by the man and the woman in the context of marriage. Marriage for the man, as stated is his completion. Moshiach will bring completion and perfection to everyone and everything. Thus the masculine way of preparing for the Redemption is to do those things that bring wholeness and perfection.
For a woman, marriage is her state of surrendering her being to another. Marriage is not simply enhancement of one’s being; it represents total self-abnegation.
This is the second and higher dimension of Redemption where we attain the peak of surrender to G-d; where our entire being become submerged in G-d’s being.
In practical terms, the preparation for the Redemption involves the performance of the positive commandments and actions geared to enhancing our spiritual sensitivity. In addition, we must refrain from negative behavior that involves suppressing our nature, surrendering our ego and transcending our own existence.
From the book Light from the Future: Parshas Vayikra by Rabbi Heschel Greenberg, published by the Jewish Discovery Center.
