The Prayer to Be a Mother and the Mother of Prayer!
There is one need and request that stands out among all the others. When it comes to a person asking for a child one does not need a formalized, structured prayer. The desire for a child for a childless couple; or the desire for nachas (fulfillment, satisfaction in English, but basically untranslatable) from our children does not require any reminders from us. It is the most natural position of most human beings. It did not require an honorable mention in the Amidah because it is the most primal form of prayer; a need that transcends formality.
THE PRAYER TO BE A MOTHER AND THE MOTHER OF
PRAYER!
Rachel’s Pleas and Jacob’s Strange Response
Rachel, the beloved wife of Jacob cries to her husband that she has no children, demanding from him that he give her children, “if not,” Rachel cries, “I am dead!”
Commentators understand Rachel’s words as a plea to Jacob to pray for her.
At first glance, Jacob’s response to her appears rather strange:
“Am I in place of G-d, who has withheld the fruit of the womb from you?”
Rashi explains that Jacob was essentially saying that it was her problem. She had no children but he had.
Rashi’s explanation of Jacob’s response to Rachel is quite puzzling.
Why would Jacob exhibit what appears to be a callous attitude towards his beloved wife? The least he could have done is to say to her, “I will pray for you.” True, he already fathered children with Leah, but that did not justify his dismissal of her heartfelt request of him to pray for her.
No Request for Children in the Amidah?
Perhaps this can be understood in light of another puzzling fact regarding prayer.
Judaism’s most important prayer is the Amidah, or the Shemonah Esrei (which means “eighteen,” referring to the original eighteen benedictions that comprised this prayer. A nineteenth benediction was added later). The Shemonah Esrei contains the requests for all of our most important needs including intelligence, forgiveness, freedom, health, livelihood, redemption, etc. There is one urgent need that is omitted in this otherwise comprehensive prayer: It is the prayer for children!
It is very strange that the desire for children that occupies so much of Biblical literature—including in this week’s parsha which recounts Rachel’s plea for children—is not even mentioned in the Amidah!
The question is magnified when we consider the fact that the source for many of the laws associated with prayer are derived from the Biblical account of Chanah who was childless and prayed for a child in the Sanctuary. Her heartfelt prayer was so poignant that we read it on the second day of Rosh Hashanah. Indeed, the Talmud states that Chanah was “remembered” by G-d on Rosh Hashanah and she eventually bore a child—Samuel the prophet.
Why then would a prayer as powerful and fundamental as the desire and need for children be missing among the plethora of prayers that we recite three times every day, six days a week? (On the Shabbat we do not ask G-d for our daily needs. The Amidah then focuses instead on the holiness of the gift called Shabbat.)
The Nature of Prayer
To answer this question we must focus on the nature of prayer. According to all opinions the requirement of praying three times a day is of rabbinic origin. All opinions also agree that when a person has a crucial need and pours out his or her heart to G-d in prayer, they fulfill a Biblical obligation to pray. Indeed, the original form of prayer was to ask G-d for our needs when they arise.
The rabbinic requirement of praying three times a day, on the other hand, was instituted regardless of whether we feel the need to pray or whether we feel that we have any needs, period. And although, every one of us is in need of something, we do not always feel that need or the need to express it. Nevertheless, we must constantly remind ourselves of our dependence on G-d and that there are needs that we may not forgo. Even if one individual is not in need of a recovery from illness, there is always someone else who needs our prayers. Shemonah Esrei was intended for those of us for whom turning to G-d and asking for all of our needs is not natural and instinctive. It is an exercise that conditions us to start feeling and acting on those feelings.
No need for Formalized Prayer
There is one need and request that stands out among all the others.
When it comes to a person asking for a child one does not need a formalized, structured prayer. The desire for a child for a childless couple; or the desire for nachas (fulfillment, satisfaction in English, but basically untranslatable) from our children does not require any reminders from us. It is the most natural position of most human beings. It did not require an honorable mention in the Amidah because it is the most primal form of prayer; a need that transcends formality.
If anything, this form of prayer exhibited by Chanah serves as the model for all other prayers. Chanah’s prayer was the quintessential prayer from which all others ought to derive their inspiration. Just as we feel the need to ask G-d for our children, so too we should ask for the other basic needs; if not for ourselves, than at least for others.
No Substitute for Rachel’s Prayer
We can now shed some light on Jacob’s rather indifferent attitude towards his wife’s demand for children. What Jacob was imparting to her was not, G-d forbid, a cold insensitive “I don’t care for you, I have my own needs taken care of.” Jacob was attempting to tell her, how can my prayer have any value in comparison to yours? No matter how much I will pray—and we can be sure that Jacob did pray for her—it cannot come close to your own prayer. The plea of a barren woman can break through every boundary and heavenly barrier. If my prayer is like a trickle yours is a torrential downpour!
Jacob was in effect telling Rachel that the power of a woman to pray for her child has no substitute and cannot be delegated and whatever value the prayer of others possesses it pales in comparison, like “a candle in sunlight.” Just as it needs no formula and fixed text, so too, it cannot be substituted by anyone else not in her own shoes.
When Chanah—the mother of prayer—prayed to become a mother, Eli, the High Priest thought she was intoxicated.
Indeed, she was! She was intoxicated with the desire to become a mother!
Intoxicated about Moshiach
There is one other need that matches the need for children in its importance, but does not always evoke the same passion as prayer for children. We do not usually get worked up about it and certainly not to the point of being accused of being “intoxicated” as was Chanah. It is the need for Moshiach to come and take us out of exile and lead the world into the ultimate Redemption. We do not always feel the need for it because being in exile has the capacity to numb our feelings and put us into a state of indifference and virtual sleep.
Our Sages and prophets of old, therefore, inserted no less than five benedictions of the Shemonah Esrei (out of eighteen) that essentially express our desire and plea for Moshiach and all that which Moshiach entails.
As the Chanah of Biblical times was “intoxicated” with her passion for children, so too must we be “intoxicated” with the desire to bring an end to this exile and its heart, mind and soul numbing effects. We must do our part in demanding of G-d to bring us the Redemption along with increase in our own personal attempts to liberate our souls by studying more Torah (particularly the Torah’s teachings about Moshiach and Redemption), increasing in our acts of kindness and more Mitzvos.
From the book Light from the Future: Parshas Vayeitzei by Rabbi Heschel Greenberg, published by the Jewish Discovery Center.
