Don’t Inhibit

It is crucial that our diverse talents and competing approaches do not lead to disharmony. It is imperative that there is a sense that all these different roads roads must lead to one goal: making the world a place where G-d’s presence is revealed, which is Judaism’s view of the Messianic Age. To facilitate this unity we must always remember and invoke our common background; we are all descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, either biologically or spiritually.

No More Wining and Dining; You’re On Your Own

Near the end of this week’s Parsha, Vayechi, the Torah recounts how after Jacob’s passing, Joseph’s brothers were concerned that Joseph would now try to take revenge for having sold him to Egypt. They therefore came to Joseph and told him:

“Your father did command before his death, saying, so shall you say to Joseph, O forgive, I pray you, the trespass of your brothers, and their sin; for evil have they done to you. And now we pray you, forgive the trespass of the servants of the G-d of your father.”

When Joseph heard how his brothers suspected him of harboring a grudge against them he cried and told them in no uncertain terms that he did not blame them for his suffering.

It is strange that after all the years—seventeen to be precise—that Joseph spent with them from the time he revealed to them that he—the Viceroy of Egypt was their brother whom they had sold into slavery in Egypt—until the passing of Jacob, they still harbored the fear that Joseph would try to take revenge. Joseph did everything to show his love and affection for them. He supported them and sustained them. Joseph, indeed, demonstrated that he did not even harbor a tinge of animosity towards them. What suddenly changed after Jacob’s passing?

Rashi addresses this question and answers that as long as Jacob was alive he would wine and dine with his brothers. After they returned from the burial of Jacob, Joseph ceased to invite his brothers to his table. This, they took as a signal that Joseph’s attitude towards them would now change. As long as Jacob was alive, they surmised, Joseph showed them tolerance and feigned love for them to make Jacob feel good about the unity in his family. But now that their father was gone, they feared, Joseph would not hesitate to pay them back for their dastardly deeds of the past.

But Rashi’s answer raises a follow up question: Why did Joseph change his custom of inviting them to his table? If indeed Joseph had true love and respect for them why did he distance them by not having them over for dinner as was his previous custom?

The Midrash, that is presumably the source of Rashi’s comment here, provides a simple answer to this question. These are the words freely adapted from the Midrash:

Respect for Father

When Jacob was alive he made sure that when they dined together, Joseph—as king—would sit at the head of the table. Joseph was extremely uncomfortable at the thought that he was sitting above his older brothers. And even though Joseph predicted that his brothers would someday bow down to him, his humility—and perhaps the fear that it would rekindle the old animosity of his brothers towards him—made him feel uncomfortable about that setup. But he had no choice. That was his father’s wish. And out of respect for his father he sat at the head of the table.

But now that his father was no longer there he could not get himself to demonstrate that he was superior to his brothers. To avoid the rather embarrassing, awkward and discomfiting situation, as to who should sit at the head of the table, he stopped inviting them.

The Return of the Famine

One could also suggest that Joseph’s decision to cease inviting his brothers could be attributed to another very down-to-earth factor. Joseph’s primary responsibility was to sustain Egypt and the neighboring countries that were ravished by the famine. He had no time for wining and dining and for a social life. From the time Jacob came to Egypt until his passing the famine miraculously ceased only to return in its full fury with his passing.

We could now understand why Joseph no longer invited his brothers to join him in his meals as he had done when Jacob was alive. As long as Jacob was alive Joseph did not have to devote himself exclusively to the job of saving Egypt from a devastating famine. He had time for social niceties and would frequently have his family over for a royal dinner. Now that the famine had returned, Joseph could not afford the luxury of spending time with his family.

Twelve Directions

There might be a third and deeper reason for Joseph’s change of attitude towards his brothers.

Joseph appreciated that his brothers possessed diverse temperaments and therefore represented different approaches to life. Joseph knew that he and his brothers would form the nucleus of a Jewish nation that would be given the Torah along with the charge to transform the world into a dwelling place for G-d. Joseph also knew that to fulfill that mission there was a need for twelve different approaches. To erase the differences between people in the name of unity is not good for the people, the world and ultimately it is not good for the cause of unity itself. G-d wants our individual talents to be cultivated to their fullest.

On the other hand, it is crucial that our diverse talents and competing approaches do not lead to disharmony. It is imperative that there is a sense that all these twelve roads must lead to one goal: making the world a place where G-d’s presence is revealed, which is Judaism’s view of the Messianic Age. To facilitate this unity we must always remember and invoke our common background; we are all descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, either biologically or spiritually.

Thus, as long as Jacob was with them it was important that they all dined together to foster the understanding that they are truly one people. But, Joseph knew that if they would always be together under the very powerful and domineering aura of Joseph it would inhibit the development of their individual talents. He feared that his overarching presence in their lives would smother their individuality and cause them to suffocate or to blend into Joseph’s identity and become mere extensions of him.

Joseph therefore decided to let each of them lead his own individual life to cultivate their individuality, hoping that the time they spent together with their father Jacob would suffice in inculcating the sense that their differences notwithstanding, they were twelve sons of one father Jacob—that they had one common soul and goal.

Multifaceted but United

We are living in momentous times. We are a multifaceted people because each of us possesses a unique way of expressing G-d’s infinite light. But it is crucial that we realize two things:

First: Our differences must not lead us to feeling that we are a fragmented and divisive people. We must always realize that we have one origin, one history and one destiny. Unfortunately, crises such as the war in Gaza, help to alert us to the fact that we are one. We must utilize this opportunity to reinforce that oneness.

Second, it is simultaneously important for us to realize that both our differences and our unity must be based on our common objective: to bring Moshiach. This means that our different talents have to be harnessed to the goal of making the world a G-dly world by thinking, speaking and acting in a G-dly way—the path set forth for us in our Torah.

Especially in these times of crises, all of us must resolve to strengthen our observance of Judaism, in a spirit of oneness and unity.

From the book Light from the Future: Parshas Vayechi by Rabbi Heschel Greenberg, published by the Jewish Discovery Center.