Reflections 2

The two periods of exile and Redemption are expressive of the two modes of G-d’s relationship with us. In exile G-d appears distant and it instills a feeling of G-d having abandoned us. In the days of the Holy Temple old as well as when Moshiach will come, we will experience G-d’s love and closeness to us. However, when we stubbornly “ignore” G-d’s aloofness and detachment from us, and insist on getting closer to Him with love, that “forces” G-d, so to speak, to reciprocate His love for us and bring us Moshiach and the final Redemption

Repetition

After Esau discovered the ruse that his brother Jacob used to take his father Isaac’s blessings that were intended for Esau, he plotted to kill him. Rebecca summoned her son Jacob and informed him that Esau was plotting to kill him. She then advised her son to flee to her brother Laban and dwell there until his brother’s wrath will subside.

Rebecca then repeats herself. After saying that he should “live with him for a few days until your brother’s anger will calm down,” she then says to Jacob, “Until your brother’s anger against you has calmed down, and he forgets what you did to him.”

Commentators wonder why Rebecca had to restate the point of staying away until his brother’s anger subsides.

Second, they ask, why does she first use the weaker term for anger “chamas” and then switches to the stronger word “af.”

Third, why does Rebecca first say “until your brother’s wrath will subside,” and then, in the next verse, she adds the words “against you?”

Two Forms of Anger

The answer, based on the Chassidic work Panim Yafos, is that there are two types of anger:

One type of anger and hatred is generated by actions that others may take that are provocative. For example, if someone insults you or hurts you, it is natural to react with anger towards that individual.

The second form of anger and hatred is the reciprocal form of anger and hatred. When a person senses that there is hostility directed towards him, it is natural to reflect that hatred back to the first person. King Solomon alluded to this reciprocal hatred in his Book of Proverbs: “As in water, face answers to face, so is the heart of a man to a man.” Just as you look at your reflection in the water, so does the reflection look back at you.”

And it was this second type of hatred that Rebecca was addressing in her second statement. Rather than translating it as “Until your brother’s anger against you has calmed down,” the original Hebrew text allows for the following novel translation: “Until your brother’s anger that comes from you has calmed down.” She was referring to the hatred that Esau had for Jacob that originated in Jacob’s hatred for him.

Reciprocal anger is much stronger than the anger generated by a one-time hostile action. Reflected hatred is constantly nourished and nurtured by the other person’s hatred that remains constant.

Thus when referring to this reflected hatred, Rebecca uses the stronger term “af,” suggesting that this anger was a far more potent one; one that is fed by the continuous flow of negative energy.

Rebecca, however, knew that Jacob’s hatred for Esau was based on Esau’s reprehensible immoral behavior. Out of sight is out of mind. With the absence of Esau, Jacob’s hatred for him will wane, and therefore, Esau’s reciprocal hostility to Jacob will also decline.

Two Ways of Generating Positive Energy Towards us

What is true in the world of negativity is certainly true with regard to positive feelings. There are two parallel ways of getting someone to have positive feelings for us. One is to do good for others. But a far more potent generator of positive energy from another is to feel love for the other. The more positive energy we direct at the other, the more they will reflect that love back to us.

The same is true in our relationship with G-d. There are two general ways of relating to G-d. One is through fear and awe and the other is through love. And while both are positive and necessary in our relationship with Him, there is a distinct advantage to the approach of love. Fear implies a gulf between the two entities, while love suggests the existence of a bridge between the two.

If we relate to G-d exclusively with fear, thereby creating a gulf between ourselves and G-d, then G-d relates to us in that same fashion. He will appear distant and aloof. When we serve Him with love and feel close to Him, we will then experience G-d’s reciprocal love for and closeness to us.

Parallel to Period of Exile and Redemption

The two periods of exile and Redemption are expressive of the two modes of G-d’s relationship with us. In exile G-d appears distant and it instills a feeling of G-d having abandoned us. In the days of the Holy Temple old as well as when Moshiach will come, we will experience G-d’s love and closeness to us. However, when we stubbornly “ignore” G-d’s aloofness and detachment from us, and insist on getting closer to Him with love, that “forces” G-d, so to speak, to reciprocate His love for us and bring us Moshiach and the final Redemption.

From the book Light from the Future: Parshas Toldos by Rabbi Heschel Greenberg, published by the Jewish Discovery Center.