Nega-Tive Relationships
Relationships are challenging. Everyone needs a mentor who is imbued with sensitivity and humility to help us navigate the pathways of our relationships with G-d and other people. METZORA METZORA
Fiery Passion, Bonding and Clarity.
This week’s Torah reading discusses the unusual skin condition called tzara’as (incorrectly translated as leprosy) or nega (Is this where the word negative originated?)
The Torah introduces this subject in the following manner:
“If a man has on the skin of his body: s’eis-a white blotch, sapachas-a creamy blotch, or baheres-a bright spot, and it forms a lesion of Tzara’as on the skin of his body, he should be brought to Aaron the priest, or to one of his sons, the priests (for examination).”
The Chassidic classic Ma’or Vashemesh interprets this verse in quite a novel way. The following is based on his commentary:
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The abovementioned three types of Tzara’as: s’eis, sapachas and baheres can also be translated as: fiery passion, bonding and clarity.
What can possibly be wrong with someone who has fiery passion for G-d? Why is bonding with G-d and having clarity about one’s relationship with G-d associated with a dreaded skin disease that renders the person spiritually defiled and requires of him to be isolated?
Ego Driven Spirituality
The answer lies in the difference between ego driven spirituality and G-d inspired spirituality. Passion can be all about oneself. One can be in love with someone else because they are in love with themselves. Even love for G-d when misplaced can turn into a negative force because it may only serve to enhance one’s own ego. Indeed, the word se’is can also be rendered as “raised,” because the person who exhibits intense passion for G-d may actually be engaged in an ego trip.
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In addition to the problem with ego that may be at the root of one’s passion, the passion itself may not endure. When passion for spirituality is driven by obsession with self, it can abruptly change course. The passion can be directed to other matters that are rather ungodly.
Selfish Love of the Other
Similarly, the idea of bonding and connecting with G-d—a positive thing—can also turn negative.
Whenever a relationship between two people is discussed, both parties must first define the relationship in terms of what the other party wants. In a marriage each partner must ask the other what are the other partner’s terms for the relationship.
If the relationship and bond between them is defined by what each partner desires for himself or herself, that bond will not be a genuine one, which may explain why so many marriages fail.
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Smugness in a Relationship
And the same can be said for the idea of clarity. While clarity is certainly preferable to doubt, confusion and chaos, it is not necessarily guaranteed to be a positive experience.
Frequently, we can be so smug and certain of the status of our relationship that we never pause to examine what we have not done right. We cannot imagine that our relationship is falling apart because we are living a delusional existence. This, too, is a product of a relationship that is ego driven; one is blind to the other side’s assessment of the relationship.
How do we know if we are a victim of this misdirected spiritual malady of “nega-itis?
Mentor’s Resume
The answer lies in the verse cited at the beginning of this essay:
“…he should be brought to Aaron the priest, or to one of his sons, the priests (for examination).”
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We must have a spiritual mentor who can judge our motives and determine if our passion is G-d inspired or ego driven.
However, the person with whom one must consult must conform to three conditions that were present in Aaron.
To be a good mentor one must be totally objective. If one has any vested interests in telling or not telling a person the truth about their condition, he or she cannot offer good advice.
Aaron personified the highest level of spiritual attainment enabling him to rise above the petty interests that derive from one’s materialistic nature. Aaron, as his brother Moses, was also known for humility. Aaron thus possessed true objectivity. One must seek an Aaron-like personality who is head and shoulders above the rest of the community, and who is humble and accessible as any other member of the community.
Aaron was also a High Priest, whose role it was to kindle the lights of the Menorah in the Temple. The seven branches of the METZORA Menorah are representative of seven soularchetypes. Aaron’s role was to ignite the flames and passion of each and every Jew just as his own soul was on fire. Aaron thus symbolized the highest form of passion. Only one who appreciates the virtue of passion can be the judge as to whether the passion is good or bad.
Third, Aaron was known for his selfless love and concern for all. Aaron is described in Ethics of the Fathers as a person who advocated: “love peace, pursue peace, love all creatures and bring them close to the Torah.” Hence Aaron was a fitting person to help us sort out our spiritual life.
In short, a mentor must be beyond petty interests, be passionate and caring in the mold of Aaron and all the great Jewish leaders of the past.
Moshiach Clarity
According to the teachings of our Sages, Moshiach will be the greatest leader of all, even surpassing the level of Moses and Aaron in many respects.
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Our generation has experienced the greatest crises in relationships. And it is our generation that therefore needs Moshiach to help us sort them out. Moshiach will be the most qualified person to mentor the entire Jewish people; instilling within them selfless passion for G-d and others, enabling them to form genuine bonds and ensuring that they enjoy true clarity. Indeed, the prophet Daniel describes the Messianic Age as an age when everything will be fully clarified.
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From the book Light from the Future: Parshas Tazria-Metzora by Rabbi Heschel Greenberg, published by the Jewish Discovery Center.
