Teshuvah Yes, Depression No!

The perennial sport is wrestling with our Animal Soul. To win the match we must match our strength with positive energy.

Fear of Sin; Who is Left?

When fighting a war, the Jewish people were told to release those who fear from the front lines and were to return to their homes.

Rashi cites the Talmudic interpretation of fear in this context. It refers to one who is afraid of the sins that he has committed.

An obvious question arises. If anyone who has sinned is disqualified from serving in the army, who would fight?

Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk, a Chassidic Master, provides a novel interpretation of one who is afraid of his sins. The Torah here is not talking about someone who has sinned and has not dealt with his sins. It is discussing one who has the fear of G-d in his heart, but is depressed for past sins. This depressed state, in turn, prevents him from doing positive things. This type of a person has nothing to support him in war and is thus prevented from fighting.

The Internal Battle

What the Kotzker Rebbe says about an actual war is likewise true about the internal struggle.

Every day of our lives we have to do battle with the animal nature within us. In order to be qualified to fight this battle it is imperative that we are not depressed or saddened by our past misdeeds.

The Chassidic classic Tanya provides us with an analogy. If two wrestlers were engaged in a wrestling match and one of them is depressed — even if he were the stronger of the two — he cannot win. Depression will cause him to falter.

How Should We Introspect?

As we enter into the introspective month of Elul — the month of preparation for the new year — we must know the proper path to making an honest accounting of the past year. When we come across our misdeeds of the past, it is only natural for us to become depressed. This, however, is not the proper strategy for winning the battle against the evil impulse and animal nature within. On the contrary, a demoralized person is a spiritually weakened person and is certainly no match for the negative forces that lurk within us.

True, the process of Teshuvah (repentance or return) that is germane to the month of Elul and the High Holy Days that follow, is usually associated with solemnity and even sadness. Despite the fact that, at times, controlled sadness that motivates us to turn a new leaf is positive, it is not the ideal approach.

Vulnerable

This is particularly true in the present day and age when we are, as a people, emotionally vulnerable. To wallow in sadness and too much self-examination can be detrimental inasmuch as it can lead to depression. Depression, in turn, has the effect of squeezing out the very last ounce of life and energy from us and aborts any spiritual growth.

Teshuvah: Source of Joy

Besides the dangers that are associated with too much sadness, there is a positive reason to stress joy even with regard to the process of teshuvah. If Teshuvah is a Mitzvah, a Divine commandment, then it is subject to the general rule that was laid down by King David in his Psalms: “Serve G-d with joy.” Teshuvah is our way of serving G-d and must therefore be done with Teshuvah.

And although Teshuvah necessitates profound introspection, where we are made aware of our sins and defects, nevertheless there is also a cause for celebration when we embark on the journey of Teshuvah. After all, when we do Teshuvah, we are once more in G-d’s good graces.

This situation can be likened to a person who is running away from a threat and racing towards a positive situation. There are two separate dynamics going on that can engender two opposite emotions:

On the one hand, the person is running away from evil because he recognizes its harmful effects and is experiencing a feeling of terror and dread upon reflection on the evil that they are escaping.

On the other hand, he is running towards a positive and happy situation.

With regard to teshuvah, when we dwell on how we will be getting closer to G-d once the Teshuvah is complete, it will generate feelings of joy.

We have a choice to either be overwhelmed and obsessed with our negative past, or to view teshuvah as G-d’s way of allowing us to forget our negative past and to get closer to Him. The former way leads to depression and lack of life and enthusiasm. The latter approach is punctuated with joy and excitement at the prospects of getting closer than ever to G-d.

Moshiach=Joy

As we get closer to the Messianic Age, the emphasis on doing Teshuvah with joy is greater. For the Messianic Age is one that will no longer have to deal with running away from things, rather it will be a time of getting closer.

It is no wonder that the word Moshiach, when rearranged, forms the word yismach-he will rejoice, joy, or yisamach, he will bring joy to others.

The way to prepare for this scenario to anticipate it and introduce it into our own lives.

Even when we do make an honest analysis of our past behavior in the month of Elul, it should be done with a focus on the positive; we are getting closer to G-d and the Era of Redemption.

From the book Light from the Future: Parshas Shoftim by Rabbi Heschel Greenberg, published by the Jewish Discovery Center.