Double Edged Sword
When you see a person whose past leaves much to be desired and who needs guidance, rather than tell them simply what they did wrong, show them how they could use the same energies for good. Instead of focusing on their negative choices, emphasize how the very same circumstances that led to their degradation can be a catalyst for growth.
New Names
We begin reading the book of Devarim, Deuteronomy, the final book of the Five Books of Moses.
This book begins with Moses recounting the various travels of the Jewish people through the desert. In the beginning of Moses soliloquy, Moses simply mentions the names of the places they traveled through on their way out of Egypt to the Promised Land.
Rashi observes that these names were never mentioned before. And concludes that they were really not names of places, but allusions to the sins they committed.
Why did Moses not simply spell out their transgressions if he was interested in rebuking them before his passing as Rashi states?
Rashi answers that out of respect for their honor, Moses deliberately spoke ambiguously.
Moses’ Change of Tone
The question has been raised by commentators. If we just turn a few pages, we will see that Moses eventually took off his gloves and reprimanded them quite openly and unambiguously. Obviously, Moses felt that constructive criticism would be legitimate. Why then did he speak so subtly to them at the beginning of this book?
The simple answer is that one must always begin to rebuke someone softly, subtly and with concern for their dignity, so that they are not embarrassed or crushed by the onslaught of harsh criticism, even if the person who is doing the reproof means well.
One could perhaps add a deeper understanding to what was really going on here.
To understand the dynamics of Moses opening his address to his people with hints about their negative past, let us cite one of the “places” he mentioned: “Di zahav.” Literally this means, as Rashi states, “an abundance of gold.” Moses meant to allude to the fact that their worshipping of the golden calf was a result of the excessive amounts of gold they had.
This raises a simple question. We know that the Israelites did not look for this gold; it was given to them by G-d, who pleaded with them to take the gold and silver of the Egyptians with them. Why then blame them for the abundance of gold they amassed, when that happened with G-d’s consent and at His behest?
Direction; Not Criticism
The answer to this question—which is the key to answer the earlier question as to why Moses used subtle language to rebuke them—is that in truth, these words were not intended as a put down at all. They were meant to show the people how certain neutral or even positive things in a person’s life can be a double edged sword. They can be used for good or for evil.
When G-d gave them incredible amounts of wealth, His intention—which later materialized—was that they use it for building a Sanctuary for G-d. However, alas, it can, and it was, also used for nefarious purposes such as building and worshipping an idol, the very antithesis of a Sanctuary to G-d.
Moses message to them was, therefore, not intended to put them down—even as constructive criticism, for that came later. His intention rather was to provide them with a valuable lesson in their lives. Moses was giving them direction not criticsm.
Everything you have, experience, know or do, can be directed and diverted into the realm of goodness and holiness; and conversely, we can take the most positive resources and utilize it for evil.
In truth, Moses’ message was actually the reverse. Moses was not only emphasizing how even neutral and positive things can be perverted, he was also trying to impress upon the generation that was to enter into the Promised Land, that even those things that turned into negativity can be turned around and used for the good.
The very same gold that blinds people can also be transformed into the means to build a land, home and life that is completely positive and holy.
Moses, in effect, was not even rebuking them, albeit subtly, he was uplifting them, by demonstrating how what was negative can be channeled into the positive arena.
Once Moses accentuated the positive—even as it pertained to their indiscretions—he was able to follow it with constructive criticism, to help them sever their ties to their negative past.
And this is the powerful lesson the Torah conveys to us in this opening narrative:
The Lesson
When you see a person whose past leaves much to be desired and who needs guidance, rather than tell them simply what they did wrong, show them how they could use the same energies for good. Instead of focusing on their negative choices, emphasize how the very same circumstances that led to their degradation can be a catalyst for growth.
Only after exposing the potential for good, which serves to uplift the person, rather than crush him, can we then apply constructive criticism to the same individual.
Positive in Tisha B’Av
As we stand in the days before Tisha B’Av—the national day of mourning for the destruction of the two Holy Temples and subsequent deplorable conditions of exile—it is crucial that we attempt to see the positive even in the sadness of the day.
Even as we follow the Halachic requirements of fasting etc., one should realize that these negative days will imminently be transformed into joyous Holidays, with the coming of Moshiach and the imminent Redemption.
From the book Light from the Future: Parshas Devarim by Rabbi Heschel Greenberg, published by the Jewish Discovery Center.
