Revenge Is Not Very Sweet
The key to healing our divisions is to defuse conflicts. ACHAREI-KEDOSHIM ACHAREI-KEDOSHIM
No to the Snow-Mobile
One of the Torah’s commandments that govern human relationship is the one against taking revenge. This commandment is quickly followed by the one not to harbor a grudge.
Rashi, citing the Talmud explains these two commandments with an example of a person who tries to borrow a snow-mobile from his neighbor. His neighbor refuses.
A few weeks later, the neighbors snow-mobile breaks down so he comes to the first person—who by now had already purchased a snow-mobile—and asks him whether he can lend him the snow-mobile. His answer is, “No way! You didn’t want to lend me yours when I needed it. I will not lend you mine.”
ACHAREI-KEDOSHIM
That is revenge.
A second scenario is where the first person who was turned down does agree to lend his neighbor his snow-mobile with the added caveat: “I’m not like you. You wouldn’t lend me your snow-mobile when I needed it, but I will lend you mine.”
This is bearing a grudge.
A Slippery Slope
Maimonides explains the reason for not bearing a grudge that it is a precautionary measure against revenge. If people would bear grudges it might lead down the slippery slope to taking revenge.
This is one of a select example of where the Torah forbids one thing to prevent another violation. This type of commandment is usually something the rabbis would do, but is almost non-existent in Biblical law.
The fact that this precautionary measure does exist here is a sign that the Torah considered revenge to be more serious than most other transgressions for which the Torah did not legislate additional precautionary measures.
ACHAREI-KEDOSHIM
What is it about revenge that has to be avoided at any cost?
Cycle of Violence
The simple approach to this is that an act of revenge will lead to the attacker’s reprisals that will in turn provoke a stronger response. This cycle of violence can lead to catastrophic consequences.
Needless to mention, that the topic of revenge must be distinguished from legitimate self-defense. Indeed, this week’s parsha also commands us “not to stand idly on the blood of our fellow.” This the Talmud explains means that we must do whatever we can to protect someone’s life, even to kill the attacker. But it is important to distinguish between attacking to prevent an attack and attacking for the sake of revenge.
Upping the Ante
One could suggest a deeper explanation for the Torah’s extreme position concerning bearing a grudge and revenge. When a civilized person does something to harm another, he or she usually feels a certain amount of guilt for having caused that harm.
ACHAREI-KEDOSHIM
Even if there was a reason for the assault or the insult, a normal person often recognizes that his or her reaction was not justified. So when the person offended does nothing, time and calmer heads contribute to the diffusing of the situation.
When the other takes revenge, however, he ups the ante, and the dispute takes on a life of its own, because now both parties begin to convince themselves that they are fighting a holy war.
When people have arguments and they begin to ascribe “higher” motives to their own personal agendas, there is little chance that their dispute will ever be resolved.
And, once again, it should be noted, that we’re not discussing legitimate differences of opinion or ideological differences between different groups. We are discussing when these differences of opinion convert into hatred and recriminations. Even if they were originally based on some principles, they quickly deteriorate into personal animosity and endless fights that have nothing to do with principle.
ACHAREI-KEDOSHIM
Preparing for Moshiach the Right Way
The Talmud predicts that before Moshiach ushers in the Age of Redemption, when true peace and unity will prevail, there will be much fragmentation and division within the Jewish community.
Unfortunately this prophecy has come true and though it is a harbinger of Moshiach it is not one that we should relish because when Moshiach comes to save us from ourselves, he comes in spite of us.
By contrast, when we bring unity and peace (which does not mean that we ought to compromise our values for the sake of peace, but to remove any trace and tinge of hatred to the other because of our differences) we become part of the process that makes the Redemption possible.
ACHAREI-KEDOSHIM
ACHAREI-KEDOSHIM
From the book Light from the Future: Parshas Acharei-Kedoshim by Rabbi Heschel Greenberg, published by the Jewish Discovery Center.
