Visiting the Sick or Comforting the Mourners?

A Lesson in Kindness, Divine Revelation, and the Redemption

G-d’s Visit to Abraham

Abraham had just undergone circumcision at the age of 99 and was recovering from the procedure. It is at this point that the Torah opens this week’s parsha with the words, “And G-d appeared to him” (Genesis 18:1).

Rashi, citing a Talmudic tradition, explains that G-d came to visit Abraham while he was ill. This episode serves as the source for the mitzvah of visiting the sick, for we are commanded to emulate G-d and follow His example.

The commentators explain that whenever the Torah describes G-d revealing Himself to someone, the revelation is generally followed by a message that G-d communicates to that person. Here, however, the Torah merely tells us that G-d appeared to Abraham without specifying anything that He said to him. Rashi therefore concludes that G-d’s purpose was not to communicate a message but simply to visit Abraham in his state of illness.

Which Mitzvah Takes Precedence?

Maimonides writes that visiting the sick is one of the many commandments included in the broad category of gemilut chasadim—acts of loving-kindness. Another mitzvah in this category is comforting mourners.

This raises an interesting question: What happens when a person has the opportunity to perform only one of these two mitzvot? Should one visit the sick or comfort the mourners? Which act of kindness takes precedence?

Although the Talmud does not explicitly address this question, Maimonides rules that comforting mourners takes precedence over visiting the sick. His rationale is that comforting mourners is an act of kindness that benefits both the living and the deceased.

A Question from the Talmud

The commentary Or Sameach challenges Maimonides’ ruling by citing a passage in the Talmud that describes the custom of the residents of Jerusalem during the Festival of Sukkot:

“They would leave their homes with their lulav in hand … and go visit the sick and comfort the mourners with their lulav in hand.”

The Talmud mentions visiting the sick before comforting the mourners, seemingly implying that visiting the sick takes precedence.

The question becomes even more compelling when we consider that Maimonides himself cites this very passage. Why, then, does he rule that comforting mourners takes precedence over visiting the sick when the Talmud appears to give precedence to visiting the sick?

The Distinction Between a Festival and an Ordinary Day

The contemporary work Mishnas Yaavetz offers an ingenious resolution to this question by focusing on the Talmud’s description of these acts of kindness as taking place during the Festival of Sukkot.

During a festival, public mourning is prohibited. Consequently, the purpose of comforting mourners during the festival is not to console them in their grief, since the usual expressions of mourning are suspended. Rather, the visit is intended principally to demonstrate respect for the deceased.

In this particular context, therefore, comforting the mourners is an act of kindness directed primarily toward the deceased, whereas visiting the sick is directed toward a living person. Under these circumstances, visiting the sick takes precedence.

Outside a festival, however, comforting mourners benefits both the living and the deceased. It offers consolation to those who are grieving while also honoring the memory of the person who has passed away. In such circumstances, Maimonides rules that comforting mourners takes precedence over visiting the sick.

Is Visiting the Sick Merely an Act of Kindness?

There is, however, a simpler way to understand Maimonides’ ruling.

The Talmud teaches that visiting the sick can actually help save a person’s life or, at the very least, facilitate their recovery. How, then, could any other mitzvah take precedence over visiting the sick, especially when a person’s life or health may be at stake?

The answer is that visiting the sick serves two distinct purposes.

In its more limited sense, the mitzvah consists of showing the sick person that others care about them and are thinking of them. Even if the visit provides no tangible assistance or contributes nothing to the person’s physical recovery, the visitor’s presence itself is meaningful. The mitzvah is fulfilled through the simple act of demonstrating concern and compassion.

This was the nature of G-d’s visit to Abraham.

When G-d appeared to Abraham, there was no need for Him to visit in order to facilitate Abraham’s physical recovery. One of the three angels who had been sent to Abraham was Raphael, whose mission was associated with healing. G-d’s appearance therefore served a different purpose: He came simply to demonstrate His concern for Abraham.

This establishes a profound precedent. We must visit the sick even when we cannot provide them with any tangible benefit. Sometimes, the greatest kindness is simply to show up.

When visiting the sick serves this more limited purpose, comforting mourners can take precedence because it benefits both the living and the deceased.

However, when the sick person requires practical assistance, and certainly when their recovery or life is at stake, visiting the sick takes precedence. In such circumstances, the mitzvah provides a crucial benefit that cannot be overlooked.

The distinction, then, is between visiting the sick as an expression of concern and visiting the sick as an act that can directly contribute to their well-being.

Exile as a Form of Spiritual Illness

The foregoing discussion offers a profound metaphor for our experience in exile and our plea to G-d to bring the Final Redemption.

The entire period of exile can be understood as a form of illness, reflecting the spiritual degradation and concealment of G-dliness that characterize our existence in galut.

Even a person who is spiritually healthy can nevertheless be considered spiritually ill while in exile. This is because, no matter how much spiritual growth a person achieves, the soul continues to yearn for a deeper and more complete connection with G-d.

When G-d, the very life of our world, remains concealed, the soul cannot fully express its inherent bond with its Divine source. This resembles a physical illness in which the soul’s vitality is not fully expressed through the body.

The problem is not necessarily that the soul lacks spiritual health. Rather, it is that the conditions of exile prevent that health from being fully expressed.

The Forty-Nine Gates and the Fiftieth Level

This idea can be understood more deeply through a teaching of the Talmud concerning the fifty gates of understanding.

The Talmud teaches that Moses attained forty-nine of the fifty gates of understanding (Rosh Hashanah 21b; Nedarim 38a).

Remarkably, the Hebrew word choleh (חולה), meaning “a sick person,” has the numerical value of forty-nine:

ח (8) + ו (6) + ל (30) + ה (5) = 49.

This numerical correspondence offers a powerful spiritual insight.

Even someone who has attained the penultimate level of Divine understanding, represented by forty-nine, can still be considered spiritually ill because the ultimate, fiftieth level remains beyond their reach.

The Song of Songs expresses this condition through the phrase cholat ahavah—“sick with love” (Song of Songs 2:5; 5:8). This describes a soul whose intense love for G-d leaves it yearning for a degree of closeness that it has not yet attained.

The soul may have reached extraordinary spiritual heights, but as long as it cannot attain the ultimate level of Divine understanding and connection, its yearning remains unfulfilled.

In this sense, even the highest spiritual achievements possible within the limitations of exile cannot fully satisfy the soul’s deepest desire.

We Want G-d Himself, Not Merely His Messengers

In our state of galut, we beseech G-d to visit us as He visited Abraham.

We do not want G-d merely to send His angels or prophets to assist us. We want G-d Himself to reveal His presence to us. We yearn for a revelation of the Divine that transcends the limitations of exile and enables us to experience the ultimate level of spiritual understanding and closeness.

Just as G-d’s appearance to Abraham represented a level of revelation beyond the ordinary assistance provided by His messengers, we pray for a revelation of G-dliness that will heal the spiritual illness of exile at its very source.

We are not satisfied with an improvement in our circumstances while the essential concealment of G-dliness remains. We seek the revelation of G-d’s very Essence, through which the world will be transformed and the Final Redemption will be realized.

“I Myself Will Comfort You”

This is essentially the message conveyed by the prophet Isaiah in the passages of consolation read during the weeks following Tisha B’Av.

The Jewish people express their dissatisfaction with being consoled merely through intermediaries. They do not want to receive consolation solely through G-d’s messengers; they yearn for G-d Himself to be revealed and to comfort them.

The prophet conveys this longing through the words of G-d:

“I, I am He who comforts you” (Isaiah 51:12).

The repetition of “I” emphasizes the desire for consolation that comes directly from G-d Himself.

This is the ultimate meaning of our plea for the Final Redemption. We do not merely ask G-d to alleviate the suffering of exile or to send messengers to improve our circumstances. We ask for the revelation of G-d Himself, so that the concealment that defines exile will come to an end.

Just as G-d personally visited Abraham, we yearn for the time when He will reveal Himself to every Jew and to the entire world. That revelation will bring healing not only to individuals but to the world as a whole, ending the spiritual illness of exile and ushering in the era of Moshiach.

May we merit this revelation speedily, when G-d will personally comfort His people, heal the wounds of exile, and bring us the complete and ultimate Redemption.